Happy 4th of July-

     I'm writing this as the end of the day nears. I may not actually get this posted before midnight (it's 11:57). I figured since it's a holiday here int he states I should put my 2 cents in. I can't lie, I wouldn't call myself patriotic in the least and for the most part the 4th is just a good excuse to barbeque. I'm not oblivious though, to what today represents. I think there are many things wrong with my country  but it's mine and I'm fortunate for all that has been given to me for that reason alone.
     This time of year reminds me of summers spent on the lakeshore of our family summer home. "Summer home" sounds so posh, in reality it was little more than a glorified cabin. Even so, it was beautiful. The lake was RIGHT.THERE and the private dirt road it sat on was quiet and secluded. I spent ever summer I can remember there up until the summer I was 17. That was the first summer after my father died. I spent the warm months that year shepherding young girls at a local summer camp.
     After my father died I only visited a handful of times. Once for his funeral and another time for some sort of party. I remember it was on fathers day so maybe a graduation party? I just remember there being an impressive lightening show out over the lake. I sat on one of the big concrete blocks that lined the shore and watched the sky dance with lightening. I remember how unafraid I felt. Even though muted laughter spilled out from behind me it was just me, the water and the sky.
     A good friend of my fathers was acting as a pseudo chaperone (though didn't enforce anything when we were drinking underage). He walked up to me "What are you doing out here" he asked. "Just being close to my dad" I replied without thinking. "I like to do that sometime too." He just stood beside me for a moment before disappearing back into the darkness. It was probably one of the more unintentionally spiritual moments of my life.
     I got away from my original point I guess. The 4th of July was always spent with family and food and laughter by the lake surrounded by the spell of sunscreen and macaroni salad and burgers on the grill. From our location on the lake you could see at least 3 different towns firework displays depending on the direction you were looking. Sometimes, if I was lucky, my dad would take us out in his 13 food aluminum fishing boat and we would watch from the water.
     Needless to say our camp wasn't the same after my father died. It was his passion after all and after he died it lost a whole lot of its sparkle. Now that it has been sold I really recognize the importance it played in my life. I miss those summers and really regret not enjoying it more and acknowledging how lucky I was to have a place like that to get away too. The 4th will probably never be the same for me but I'm still grateful for what I have and my memories- THOSE last forever. So if you are in the USA and celebrated our Independence Day I hope you had a blast and if you aren't celebrating today then happy Wednesday!